Thursday, November 10, 2005

Commencement Bio

Linzy was telling me yesterday about how she had to write a bio to be read when she graduates from school in March (well, she graduates in December, but the ceremony is in March). She was saying how she didn't know what to say.

I suggested this:

Now accepting her diploma for Health Information Technician, Linzy Eck.

Linzy was the single best student Rasmussen has ever had. She dazzled her classmates and professors with her quick wit, astonishing intelligence, and radiant good looks.

We begged Linzy to come back for another degree, just so we could enjoy basking in the warm glow of her presence for a few more years. Unfortunately we know that Linzy probably wants to get out and apply her towering abilities in the work force, so we understood when she declined.

During her time at Rasmussen, Linzy was the first woman ever to be voted "Smartest Man Alive", beating out such luminaries as Stephen Hawking, Bill Gates, and the honorary candidate Einstein.

Linzy would like to thank a number of people for supporting her through the years, including her parents, for the good genes, her grandparents, for the tuition assistance and supporting thoughts, and her Silky Terrier Pippen. Pippen is the world's cutest dog, and Linzy doesn't understand how anyone couldn't love such a cute dog. Oh, and her husband might have been helpful a couple of times, too.

Please put your hands together for the greatest person ever to attend this, or any school, Linzy Eck.


For some reason she didn't think that was very helpful. My other suggestion was to start with "A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away", and then pipe in a certain majestic John Williams tune.

Linzy didn't mention the bio anymore, so I'm assuming she's going with one of my ideas.

4 comments:

Scooter said...

Maybe she should just have links to your blogs.

Steve Eck said...

I can just hear someone reading:

H-T-T-P...Colon..Slash-Slah..
S-O-E-C-K..Dot..
B-L-O-S-P-O-T..Dot..
C-O-M..

That would be pretty funny.

Dan Phillips said...

I really like your draft steve. No matter what ends up in the final I think it should comment on her Uno Attack Skill LvL.

Steve Eck said...

Heh, what more important item to include in a Bio then Uno Attack. :)