Monday, October 09, 2006

Fair Warning

To my Future Children,

After watching one of the kids who lives behind us, consider this a preemptive warning.

Should I ever spend a tidy sum getting a concrete driveway installed, under absolutely no circumstances should you decide to try skateboarding across it less then 24-hours after it is installed.

I would expect the fact that your shoes sink into the driveway when you step on it to be a warning that setting your skateboard down on the same driveway and jumping on it is not a good idea. But if you needed confirmation, I can tell you exactly what will happen:

First, the whole board will move forward slightly, as the wheels resist the inevitable pull of the unset concrete. Almost immediately after, the front wheels will start to dig into the concrete. At which point the board will jerk to a stop, and throw you forward off the board into the giant pit of sludgey concrete that will someday be a driveway. Except that now, said driveway will forevermore be somewhat less then smooth.

So just don't do it. I've seen it happen and while it was amusing for me as an innocent observer, I'm not so confident I would see the humor if it was my driveway featuring a prominent impression of your young, apparently stupid body.




Shawn said...

I soooo needed pictures with this post!

Bill Roehl said...

Shawn, you read my mind.

Steve Eck said...

I'm pretty sure that would have moved me out of the 'innocent observer' category into the 'scary neighbor' category.