Sunday, January 15, 2012

What Not to Do

Let's say, hypothetically speaking, that you are on a Delta flight from Minneapolis to Paris, flying in a 2/3rds full 767. That leaves plenty of space free on the plane, and so people can spread out. Thus, for example, when there are two people in a set of three seats in the middle of the plane one might expect that the random guy in the middle would move to the open aisle seat. Leaving a luxurious cattle-class seat worth of no-mans land in-between passengers.

That might seem obvious and perhaps every other row in the plane would recognize the optimal positioning. But dear reader, there is in fact another option:

You could stay in that middle seat, with your bulky shoulders and jabbing elbows punishing the unfortunate soul assigned to sit next to you. After a while when you get up to go to the bathroom and you come back, stepping carefully over that empty seat on the aisle to plop back down in the middle, that other passenger might say something like "Why aren't you sitting over there?". You could then answer "Hmm, I don't know. I guess I like this seat". It's a good effect if, as you are sort of testing out the arms of that middle seat while describing your eternal love for it, you jab the other passenger in the side with an elbow just to remind him that this is your assigned seat and by god, you aren't moving.

I'd just like to say: Please, don't be that guy.

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